On a snowy late-morning, the usually bustling gym of Silver Lake Regional High School seems empty -until you notice a section of bleachers in the back corner packed with students and flanked by coaches. It is a remarkably reverent group of teenagers at the moment and all eyes are on the tall man in a suit standing at the podium facing them. Though it is an unassuming scene, it is clear that the person at the podium is not a random guest or a familiar teacher or coach, but someone who instantly has the respect and attention of everyone in the room. That is because it is Silver Lake Regional High School’s most distinguished living alumni -Tim Murphy, and these students are the sports team captains of Silver Lake High who have come to glean any available wisdom from this legendary Laker.
Whether he knew it or not, in the early 1970s, Silver Lake Regional High football coach John Montosi had two pending stars of the college football world on his team. His quarterback, Eugene (Buddy) Teevens and a scrappy end/linebacker, Timothy Murphy, would go on to be legends in American football. “We became best friends after playing on Little League together. Our story began with a call that I am still 51% sure was wrong as I was called ‘out’. He says the call was right, but we will never really know,” Murphy recounts to the benches of observing students. Teevens went on to be the quarterback of, and later head football coach, at Dartmouth College. Murphy went on to play at Springfield College under Coach Vandersea where he was named All New England linebacker. Both former Silver Lake students went on to have historic careers in the world of college football and, more importantly, keep a true friendship that would prove a motivating force in both their lives.
Rick Swanson, Silver Lake Regional High School Athletic Director, asked Murphy to touch base on three main traits that the team captains had been focusing on to become ideal leaders for their respective teams. The first question Swanson asked was for Murphy’s take on and experience with work ethic and how it impacted his career and life.
Following his high school graduation, Murphy started as part-time assistant coach for Brown University. He met a Brown engineering student and football player who inspired Murphy to set new goals. “I realized, it is not enough to have a goal in life, you have to have a plan.” Murphy made a goal to become a head coach for a college football team by age 30, and if he couldn’t do that, he decided he would go back to school and get his M.B.A.
After spending another year at Brown as assistant offensive-line coach, and a year as defensive-line coach at Lafayette, Murphy began to work for an M.B.A. during three years on Rick Taylor’s staff at Boston University. In 1985, Teevens became head coach at the University of Maine and he hired Murphy as offensive coordinator. Although accepted into business school, Murphy could not shake the call and passion for coaching. In 1987, Teevan’s left to coach his alma mater and Murphy was offered the head coaching position for the Black Bears at the University of Maine where he was the youngest head coach in college football -just about meeting his goal of being a head coach of a football team by age 30.
Two years and one Yankee Conference title later, Murphy moved to Cincinnati where he was the youngest head coach in Division I. Cincinnati’s football program had not had a winning season in a decade and they had a reduced roster of 53 players on scholarship due to NCAA infractions instead of the typical 85. Under the direction of Murphy, the program rebounded and was ranked in the top 25 by the time he left to take over at Harvard in 1994. Murphy led the Harvard Crimson football team to success after success for 30 years. He retired as the second longest tenured coach in Division I with 16 consecutive winning seasons, 10 Ivy League championships with only one losing season in this century, and an athletics program that focused on academic success as well as athletic success. Murphy was also named the President of the American Football Coaches Association. It is arguable that Murphy is the one of the most successful collegiate football coaches in history.
As he accumulated career opportunities, Murphy was also gaining enormous amounts of insight into what it takes to be successful. “The best players were always the hardest workers -not the most gifted or strongest or fastest, the hardest workers. Worth ethic changes everything. If you have a goal, and you don’t let anything talk you down from it, you will transcend your own limits,” Murphy assures.
Swanson then asked for Murphy to give advice on leaders practicing servitude and humility and how this quality enhances leadership positions. “Being humble is good for everyone -and it earns you true respect. One reason Buddy was such a successful leader was because he earned the trust of his teammates by leveling with them -helping them out and making sure they felt equal.” Murphy goes on, “You know, I always noticed the leader’s mannerisms in the locker rooms. Some kids make such a mess in there, and then there would be the captains going around picking things up, encouraging people to clean up a bit -humility is about having a level of respect for others and being willing to pitch in and not think any task is beneath you.”
Swanson followed up with the final focus point for the years team captains -Communication. Murphy easily agreed that this was a key quality for any leader to possess but especially in a sports environment. “Communicating in a constructive way with your teammates is the make or break of a good team dynamic. You can’t just communicate with your friends or the best players on the team -you have to keep that line open with everyone. You have to be real and vulnerable and that puts people at ease to be themselves. And honestly, building the foundations of a team on healthy and constructive communication will reward you with lifelong friends.
Murphy explained how friendships forged with teammates often transcend the team. “The greatest gift from playing sports is the friendships you get from it. The likelihood of the relationships you have on your teams now carrying on throughout your lives is very high because you are forging a bond with these people. You are learning to rely on them, read them, trust them, appreciate them, and work with them and those kinds of things carry on after graduation and the games stop. You are making bonds with people that are unique to sports and unlike friendships made in other activities because you have to work as one when you are on a team. You have a common goal for an extended period of time and that makes lifelong bonds.” Murphy explained that even your opponents in sports can be lifelong connections, “When you compete with someone, you have to witness how hard they are working and that makes you respect them.”
Murphy also pointed out that leadership can’t be an act or defined by a checklist, it has to be genuine. “The biggest influences in my life were my coaches. They genuinely wanted to see me become my best self and they really cared about me as a person -not just an athlete. I had a home life where my dad wasn’t around for mentorship, but my coaches filled that for me. Coaches and leaders who care change lives. Mine really cared and caring about someone isn’t something you can fake,” Murphy says.
Murphy then noted that student athletes are unique in the world of sports. “Being a student athlete is so much harder than just being an athlete. Your academic success only enhances you as an athlete because it requires the same qualities that being a good athlete does. Hard work, humility and being open to learning, and communicating and advocating for yourself and others -all of these make you a great student as well.”
Murphy explained that the most successful leaders for sports teams in the Ivy League setting were also dedicated students. “I knew that if someone was willing to put in the work to get an A in economics, they would likely also work really hard for the team.” Murphy encouraged the students to not separate being a good student from a good athlete, but to see them as inseparable. “If you can keep your studies up as well as show up for your team every day, you are basically set for anything life hands you because you have the recipe for success right there.”
Most importantly, Murphy emphasized that working on relationships with family and friends should always be the number one priority. “You know, coaching college football is really, really hard. The schedule is incredibly demanding. Playing sports and keeping up grades is really hard, and these things can make you neglect those around you. But remember that they are your reason for all of this and that you can’t do anything hard in life without support from family or friends or mentors. Keep the right perspective because it will help you make better decisions for yourself, too.”
The closing remarks were followed by questions from students, one in particular asked what a captain or leader should do when there were mistakes made during a game. Murphy replied, “You own it. Good leaders always take responsibility for things that go bad. You can’t blame anyone -it’s everyone. Mistakes don’t usually happen because of one isolated thing -it’s usually a series of things that add up. A good leader will take it upon themselves to own the mistake and then work with the team to find solutions.”
After a group picture was taken, the attending student athletes filed back out into the hallways to their next classes, but the speech given by Murphy was hardly over. No, the things all of us heard, students and adults, were the kind that stick, provoke thought, and influence many decisions made thereafter -because they were the genuine words of humble wisdom from a true leader, and those never really leave us.