Many mothers have the scenario perfectly pictured in their minds long before they walk through the door of their home with their new baby. There is often an idealization that upon arriving home, things will fall into place, routines will eventually come from the happy chaos of this new phase, bonding with your precious little one will be blissful, and those around you will support and help you heal and navigate. Nearly every mother dreams about the same kind of natural, beautiful transition after growing, carrying, and welcoming a new life into theirs. Of course, new mothers also know there will be intense fatigue, a recovery period, struggles of all kinds, new worries, a bit of anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed at times; no new mother expects a postpartum experience without the full gamut of adjusting to new or “added to” motherhood.
That said, what happens when the postpartum experience is all-but-consumed by the struggles -fatigue or insomnia beyond comprehension, recovery that never comes or is hindered due to a lack of support, struggles and worries that haunt the mind day and night and prevent basic functioning, anxiety that alters heart health and makes getting out of bed physically impossible, and depression and hopelessness that make life more unbearable and frightening by the day, and can even prevent bonding and feeling motherly towards the new baby in your arms?
Postpartum mental health disorders are more than just “baby blues”, they are chemical alterations and imbalances set off, and enhanced by, the giant internal chemistry experiment that goes on in a mother’s body for well over the nine months of pregnancy and after birth. The usual coping mechanisms and things like, “eating healthy” and “taking a walk” are not only largely ineffective, they are asking too much of someone in crisis who needs far more than an inspirational quote and a long nap to feel better.
While the gray clouds (which can be more storms of terror than just cloudy skies) of postpartum mental illness do not come for the majority of mothers, they are common enough and on the rise for a number of reasons. Statistics show that one in five mothers will experience significant postpartum anxiety and/or depression. Patricia Wasiolek of Plympton knows, first hand, the severity of the storms new mothers sometimes face with postpartum mental illness. After recovering from her own storm, she has dedicated her time and energy to help others find safe shores and see the sun again.
“After my son was born, I experienced awful postpartum anxiety,” explains Wasiolek, “So severe that I could not get out of bed.” Wasiolek and her husband knew things had gone beyond what could be remedied on their own at home, so they headed to the emergency room. “I was assessed in the ER by a psychiatrist and, though they were just doing their job, they were impersonal and unhelpful for what I was feeling and experiencing. The whole experience was very clinical. I was sent to a partial day clinic in Norwell, but it was more of a mood disorder clinic and I was unable to relate to anyone there. It was not, at all, a fit for new mothers with postpartum anxiety, so I kept looking for something else.”
Wasiolek found the Day Hospital at Women and Infants Hospital in Rhode Island and moved her care to their program. “You can bring your baby with you, which a lot of programs don’t let you do. They have clinicians, physicians, group and individual therapy, and lots of programs to help new moms with postpartum disorders. I was there for two weeks and it really helped me.”
In addition to finding professional support and treatment, Wasiolek also found solace and support in a friend who had suffered from postpartum illness during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic. “I reached out to a friend I knew had struggled with this and she gave me a lot of advice. Her care was wildly mishandled, as is the case for many women, and I was shocked at the lack of awareness and resources for these things in such a large medical hub like Boston.” One invaluable resource Wasiolek’s friend shared was Postpartum Support International, PSI -a global nonprofit that promotes awareness, prevention, and treatment of mental health issues related to childbearing created by a worldwide network of individuals and organizations and professionals.
“I was invited to PSI’s ‘The Climb’ by a college friend where I connected with Kelly Winter who had started advocating for PSI locally,” says Wasiolek, “Kelly watched her friend go through postpartum illness and wanted to do something to show support, so she put together the first ‘Climb’ in Duxbury. I asked her if I could help and we started meeting in January.”
Founded in 1987 by Jane Honikman in Santa Barbara, Calif., PSI is a unique organization in that it provides global support to families and individuals through perinatal health support, education, advocacy, and research through helplines, educational and training programs for professionals and individuals, lists of resources and the perinatal care programs and providers closest to you -no matter where in the world you live, online support groups, webinars, and educational materials. Since its inception, PSI has grown to be an international resource that provides support and connection for over 100,000 people a year.
PSI’s “The Climb” is a family-friendly, community-building walk starting at the Pilgrim Church of Duxbury on Oct. 3, from 10 a.m. -1 p.m. The event is sponsored by many local businesses and also accepts individual donations. The walk aims to raise awareness and money for perinatal disorders, and to continue to work on erasing the judgment and taboo often associated with postpartum illness. One in five mothers and one in ten fathers will experience intense anxiety and/or depression after the birth of a child. Over 800,000 people a year are affected by perinatal mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, Perinatal OCD, enhanced Bipolar 1 and 2, Psychosis, and Perinatal PTSD. Sadly, only 25% of those impacted by these disorders are able to receive treatment or follow-up monitoring. “One of the great things about PSI,” says Wasiolek, “is that they do all the homework and research for you. When you are in the depths of postpartum crisis and trying to cope, its just too much to also be expected to make lots of phone calls and search online and stay on top of seeking out something that works. PSI makes all the information easy to find and it is specified to your area.”
PSI’s “The Climb” had resounding success last year -raising $10,000. “This year,” notes Wasiolek, “We set an initial goal to raise $15,000, but we have already raised over $18,000 and we aren’t even to October.” When asked what, beyond fundraising, Wasiolek and Winter hope to accomplish with “The Climb”, Wasiolek replies, “This walk shows the power of community and why it is important. Community can not only provide support, but validation and recognition for what so many go through -sometimes silently. There is such a spectrum of what a perinatal disorder can look like -for some it’s manageable with therapy and for some professional help in a care center or hospital is needed. We need to help people find resources BEFORE they reach their breaking point. Treatment plans need to include the mother, partner or spouse, and healthcare professionals -and family if possible. It should never be left largely up to the mother -the one enduring the disorder, to manage on their own.”
In light of recent events, perinatal health is on the minds of most of us -especially in our South Shore communities. Some of the public dialogue has been encouraging to see and hear, but some of it has been deeply hurtful, judgmental, uneducated, shortsighted, and ignorant. There are clearly many who do not understand the severity and reality of perinatal disorders, or comprehend the overall failure of our mental health system as it applies to perinatal care and women’s health. There is also a looming gap between realizing that a healthy and cared for mother is a healthy and cared for baby/child.
Perinatal disorders are not a phase, they are not imagined, and they are not usually something that can be dealt with alone or by simply “cheering up”, “being grateful”, or “snapping out of it” -as were some of the “tips” I was given over the course of having perinatal disorders with all four of my children the last 20 years. These are serious conditions and terrifying for the person enduring them at a time when their greatest desire and focus is bonding with, cherishing, and caring for the new little miracle in their lives. When you can actually feel the chemistry in your body “crash”, as I described it each time, and you have no control over the wild imbalances and reactions taking place inside of you, it is one of the most terrifying and helpless feelings someone can have. It steals away many moments of joy that you had dreamed of having with your precious newborn.
Please, reach out to new moms and their partners. Ask about the mom as readily as you do the baby. Please, don’t say, “Let me know if I can do anything for you,” because they usually feel like a burden, ashamed, or an imposition and they won’t ever ask. Please, listen to women when they say they are not okay or they need help. Please hold their hands and truly listen, without judgement, to what they feel and need. Please, show the same compassion to new mothers that you would wish for yourself and your loved ones. Be the catalyst for their treatment to begin and stay on course. Allow them to grieve, be angry, and collapse, safely, so they can begin to heal -because healing IS possible and the outlook is bright for women (and their families) who have the support they need. Mothers are superheroes, but sometimes even superheroes need someone to save them. It is time we all put on our capes and set out with a message that there is, indeed blue, beyond the gray sky.
To Register for PSI’s The Climb in Duxbury on Oct.3 visit:
https://Give.postpartum.net/event//2026-climb-duxbury-2026/e763328
To Donate:
https://give.postpartum.net/fundraiser/7050672
For Information on Postpartum Support International:
https://postpartum.net