I met my husband Dave several years after I’d been divorced. We were both taking Psychology classes at Massasoit Community College. He had two children, a daughter Donna who was eight, the same age as my son Brian and a son Davey who was five, the same age as my daughter Heidi. Donna and Brian were also in the same class in the Halifax school system and knew each other, although they weren’t particularly friendly with one another. Dave lived in an apartment in Whitman and his children lived with their mother, Dottie, in Halifax. I admired the way Dave was close to and involved with his children and what excellent parents he and Dottie always were.
As we got to know one another we slowly introduced the kids to each other. We took them swimming in summer and on walks with us in the fall. They seemed to have fun with one another as they got used to each other, until they realized that Dave and I really liked each other; then things became a little tedious. My kids, especially Heidi, took to Dave and was happy to have a father image. Times when my ex-husband did take my kids to his house, I spent time alone with Donna. She liked going to Friendly’s for ice cream and I enjoyed her company.
When things got very serious with Dave and me, he invited me to supper at his apartment on Valentine’s Day. That night he got down on one knee and I wondered what he was doing until he slipped a diamond ring on my finger and asked me to marry him. I said yes. We were married that Fall. All four of our kids were in our wedding, well behaved and so darn cute. My parents hosted our Wedding Reception at their home in Hanson. Everything went beautifully and we had a memorable time. Our Honeymoon consisted of coming home to our house in Halifax to enjoy the peace and quiet before my kids came home that Sunday.
Divorce can be hard on some adults and even more so on children. Once Dave and I were married, the reality for his kids was hard for them to accept. There were times they didn’t want to come over and times they wanted to be alone with their father and other times they wanted to be at their house with both their parents. I have to give my stepchildren credit; I admired some of the ways the two of them worked together to do everything they could to get their parents back together. They were so clever -they would’ve fit right into a Walt Disney movie. When Halloween came around that year, they didn’t come to our house. We did get to see them briefly at Christmas.
The New Year didn’t start off very well. All four kids were upset for different reasons and Dave and I were upset with ourselves because of mistakes we made in dealing with our kids. We had to change things for the better. Dave started by making it clear to his kids that even though things weren’t going to be as they used to be, he and their mother would always be there for them. I told them I realized I wasn’t their mother but I’d like to be their friend and they could call me Linda. Dave told my kids they could call him Dave or whatever felt comfortable to them. About six months later, Heidi started calling him Dad, which never changed.
Things got better after that. When Fall came that year and it was time to decorate for Halloween, Brian, Heidi and Davey helped. Davey’s favorite Halloween treat was candy corn, so I made sure we had some. I had a big cardboard skeleton that I called Alley after the song “Alley-Oop”, that was popular in the 1960’s. Brian was the tallest out of the three kids so he hung Alley up and positioned his movable head, arms, hands and legs. We had two cloth pumpkin faces with little orange lights on them that lit up their eyes and mouth that Heidi hung in both the dining room and kitchen door windows. Brian put my cackling witch with the green eyes that glowed outside on the step railing where she could be heard. After Davey helped Brian and Heidi fill our big bowl with candy that was to be given out, his mother and sister came to pick him up. We wished him a good time Trick ’n Treating with his cousins.
Brian went to work carving his pumpkin, helped Heidi with hers and they set them outside with candles in them while I made grilled cheese sandwiches. Dave came home just as the kids and I were leaving to walk through the neighborhood. He said he’d take care of passing out candy while we were gone. Brian dressed as a cowboy and Heidi wore a cute little clown costume. The moonlight helped us find our way as we went from house to house in the clear, cool night, greeting friends and neighbors in all their various costumes. Candles flickered in each yard showing the creative carvings of Jack-O-Lanterns that glowed in the dark. Strobe lights showed ghosts and skeletons swaying in the night along with spiders and bats which caused Heidi to grab onto the long black cape I had on. As we turned a corner, a gust of wind came up and a streetlight went out. The kids looked up at me; I knew they wanted to go home.
Dave was happy to see us and there was still some candy in the bowl if more kids came. Brian and Heidi got ready for bed and asked for candy. I let them each pick two pieces out of their bags which they ate while they watched television. Dave and I were in the kitchen talking when we heard a knock at the door. I grabbed the bowl of candy and went to the door. The outside light had gone out and it was so dark out I could hardly see through the kitchen door window. I pressed my forehead up against the window and saw two little faces peering in at me, one with a mask on. I wanted to get them inside as it was getting cold out, so I opened the door to let them in. The three of us stood looking at each other as I was trying to figure out who they were. The taller one was grinning and the smaller of the two pulled off a mask and yelled “Trick or Treat!” Dave, Brian and Heidi came out to the kitchen. Brian and Heidi started grinning when they saw them. Dave did a double take and scooped them into his arms.
It was the best Halloween surprise we could have gotten. Davey’s costume depicted a superhero (I forget who) and Donna made a mustache she stuck on that looked very real and was dressed in Dave’s Sailor hat and shirt he had worn in the Navy. Seeing Davey and Donna in Dave’s arms and the smile on his face said it all. I’m also very happy to say that the Halloween nights after this one brought us many good memories. Donna and Davey are now grown with families of their own. Including my own two kids, Donna and Dave are also two of the best friends I have.